I'm still in Repair

ya, I'm scared. I don't know why but, when it comes to love, I always failed. Never once did I succeeded when it comes to having a long term relationship. It sometimes never even lasted a month. I'm just afraid... afraid to get hurt again...

I admired my friends who get along so well with their boyfriends... especially when there are wedding occasions. I stare at them smiling happily at each other looking forward for their wonderful life chapter together. My father told me that I should only get married when I turn to the age of 25 & above. I wonder sometimes if there is anybody out there for me. But, it's all in the hands of God, He will decide it for me. So, i'll just wait for the-ONE.

My heart still needs time in fixing up all the heartaches that has happened to me. Even though there is someone who likes me right now, or maybe obsessed with me, but, I can't accept him. He's not the one. Even when I look at him at first glance, he doesn't have any strong connection between me. (sigh). It's just that the memories of the past haunts me. I just got dumped just like that-I never even talked to him about it. That is why, this leads to my fear of starting to love someone again... 

Anyways, in class today, our lecturer for the day, asked us to do some sort of a debate like forum. One of the group touched on the title-what is love? One of my friend, explained on a term where she talked about forbidden love. She is still fighting to get back in good terms with the guy, who, is from a different religion. Her parents never allowed her to be with him. So, now, she had to make a choice in between choosing the person she loved and leave her parents, or, to follow her parents advice and leave the person she loved for good. That was a very tough question to handle. She started crying right after...

As soon as she finished, our lecturer started telling her story about how she was abused before...and how she also had the experience of forbidden love. She loved that guy very much, and yet, she left him because of her parent's wish. And you know what? that guy never married anyone up until now! I was shocked and touched at the same time. How I wish my ex-boyfriend was like that. But I know it is quite impossible... 

Oh well, I'm still waiting for the day... that's all for today.